John and I have been together for two years now.  I’d like to think that we’ve moved into that phase we might call a “mature relationship”.  We’re very comfortable with each other, we usually know what to expect from each other from day to day, and we’ve passed the period where we need to be in each other’s presence 24/7.

There is something nice and reassuring about reaching that status in a relationship, but at the same time it can be a little frightening.  You wonder if you partner is as excited by you as he once was.  Are you stimulating enough for him, emotionally, mentally, sexually?  Or the same fears may arise about the relationship may crop up in the reverse, you might ask yourself whether this new “comfortable” phase is really what you want.  I have to admit that these questions have arisen in me from time to time.  Never in a soul-shaking sort of way, but as our relationship has evolved I’ve been self reflective.

Because of this I was particularly pleased today when John called me at work.  I asked him what he was up to this afternoon and he replied “I’ve been thinking about what you did to me last night”, referring to a new sexual position I initiated.  It excited and pleased me to think that even after two years there were times when I could get under my partner’s skin in a way that he’s still fantasizing about it the next day.

It’s surprising what a little change in routine or scenery can do for one’s sex life.  But, I wouldn’t credit our good sex life solely to sexual adventurism.  Openness about sexual desires and fantasies helped us be more trusting partners and have often provided fuel for our sexual fires, whether we act directly on those desires/fantasies or not.