Earlier today John and I were driving downtown. While we were stopped at a light I noticed some people, two hetero couples, in the car slightly behind us in the left lane. They seemed to be staring at our car, or more specifically at us. At first I thought they might be looking at John’s political bumper sticker, but they really seemed to be looking in our direction. They were talking and seemingly making jokes.
To be honest I can’t rationally figure out why they were looking at us. We were just in the car, it isn’t as though we were together in a store or restaraunt where we are more obvious as a couple. However I can’t shake the feeling that the people in the car were making fun of us.
Later that evening we had dinner in a restaurant that was populated by mostly thirty-somethings. John mentioned that he felt really old in there. At the same time I was thinking, I wish other young people could see in John what I see in him.
May 13, 2009 at 9:27 am
It is possible that they were neither looking at you and your partner or even laughing about you. Sometimes I have found my worst enemy to be what I personally extrapolate from a situation, as oftentimes this extrapolation is a projection of personal insecurities. Do you feel that because someone appears to be looking in your direction and laughing that it is because they are making assumptions about your relationship? We should be fair with people around us and not take personal offense, especially when none is meant. We should also remind ourselves that a meaningful relationship is not a laughing matter and people who find humor in it or take offense do so as a result of their own issues and hangups. Hang in there
May 13, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Alejandro
There is a lot of truth in what you write. It is true that I can’t be sure what they were laughing at or why they were looking at us. It is completely possible that something else was going through their minds. But I am certain that it was us that they were looking at.
May 14, 2009 at 11:19 am
What does it mean to you to be laughed at? How does it affect the relationship? I have never particularly enjoyed teasing or ridicule. At the same time, I feel, for the most part,a bit more impervious to taunting and poor manners than I was in my adolescence. They are, after all, not my poor manners. That and I’ve become a bit more defiant in my 20’s. Still, we can’t help but be affected by such attitudes.
I myself find your relationship quite lovely, having always dated men with a more pronounced age gap myself, and certainly wish you two the best.